I’ve been putting this off for a very long time and I don’t want to get to this point but the true realization that you’ll never come back has really set in. I’ve engraved it in my brain and I’m not letting myself think otherwise. You probably won’t see this but I needed to vent in public. How could I possibly let you go without getting closure? How could I possibly live in peace knowing my last words to you were horrible? I know I was the biggest cunt in the world to you but jesus christ you weren’t a saint. I had my reasons for being the way I was and let me tell you why darling. The begining of our relationship was smooth. I didn’t even know anything about you. It was new and exciting and god for the first year let me tell you I did love you more than I could have possibly loved anything in this entire world. I would have given up everything and I basically did. I gave up so much for you. I went through tears and hell and blood for you. But when the constant lies began I couldn’t do it anymore. I doubted you and I had no trust in you and I never will after you showed me your true colors. You can’t even begin to understand how much your lies fucked me up in the head. I’d torture myself and it killed me inside knowing you weren’t and would not be honest with me. It literally almost killed me. That’s when I started fucking up. I started slipping away emotionally as a defense and I told you at some point I had fallen out of love with you. And I did. I began to look at other people and I lied and it was all because I found myself wanting to hurt you as bad as you hurt me. I wanted you to cry and scream and hurt yourself like I did. And it was horrible of me but I didn’t give a shit about how you felt. I just wanted to hurt you so I did. I made you so many promises that I did not keep and I honestly didn’t believe you were worth fighting for so when you demanded I let you go I took the chance and did so. And I refused to take you back because I grew tired of crawling back to you whenever you messed up and I left and you’d cry and beg for me. I would not be miserable for you. I told you I was never coming back and you continued to lie to me about the things you did. I know I had feelings for someone else too but I was honest with you about everything at that point. I’m really glad it destroyed you because that’s what I wanted and I realized that selfishness was not true love. My bad, I made you upset and I broke your heart but I was finally happy for the first time in a year. I wouldn’t let you take that away from me. And now you have a new girl and you’re making bad life choices and you believe you love her and good for you. My bad I called her names but they were the truth. My bad I called you names but you did the same and don’t deny it. Don’t play your innocent victim card with the world. That’s one of the things I hated most about you. I told you that I hoped you would find another girl. That one time in bed I told you if we didn’t work I’d hope you’d find another girl who would love you more than I did and who your mom would like and get along with your dog and brother. But of course being a big believer in your fairy tale future, you promised there would be no other girl. You’d promised I’d always be your girl, your one and only and that you would wait for me forever. You promised you’d love me always and you could never hate me and you could never love someone as much as me. But of course this is reality and you didn’t mean it. I know I tell people I hate you but to be honest I don’t. I make myself believe I do because this is the only way I know how to cope. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings and being horrible. I wouldn’t take it back though. I did have many good times with you though and I will never forget that. I’m sure you’ll never forget me because I was your first love. You never forget your first love. Also I don’t want to be friends and this is why I pushed you away when I found about your feelings towards her. There is a reason we can never be friends and I’m positive you know. It’s better to pretend to hate you because I will not and cannot be your friend. I don’t want to remember being friendly with you because it won’t work. I honestly stopped having a reaction at the sight of you at school. I’m sure you’ve stopped thinking about me and you could care less about me. Honestly I think about you less and less as each day goes by. I haven’t cried for you. I never did. Despite this, if you ever needed me I’d be there and then go on my way and neglect you once you don’t need me anymore. I’d still pick you up if you were down and go along my merry way once you’re up. You were such a waste of time for me and I was mean to you because your personality clashed with mine and you’re a ridiculous, childish person. I hope things work out with your poor choice of a girl. Make something out of yourself, William. Stop skipping school so much and talk to your mother. Quit smoking weed and getting drunk at parties. Stop fighting your friends. Quit being a liar. I’m only saying because I’m the only person who gives a shit about your well being. Fuck off and I love you.